Whew, what a week of ups and downs. First, I achieved a milestone! I had worked for this outcome for two years. While I was excited to learn I had advanced, I feel intense resentment too. A different set of standards are expected from me versus an other. Another enjoys a privilege which is not extended to me.
Now a precedent set, my mind schemes of ways to exploit the inconsistency to maximum embarrassement and destruction. I hate this hostility brimming within me. I am a person holding a grenade, willing to pull the plug to take out the system around me, and not care if it destroys me in the process as well.
Disillusionment.
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